On the rare occasion, there truly isn't anything good to say about a show or a performance, and again, it is our job to be honest. Sometimes honesty isn't nice, but that doesn't mean that honesty has to be cruel. A good "bad" review does not need to be peppered with statements that would be at home in the next installment of Mean Tweets on Jimmy Kimmel. Instead, a good "bad" review should focus on the observed missteps of the performer or the production in a way that is critical and honest but not personal or mean-spirited. It's tough to write, but it is possible.

To everyone in Austin and San Antonio who I've had the pleasure to review over the past several years, I thank you for sharing your art with me. To bare who you are artistically is an incredibly challenging and sometimes horrifying thing to do, so thank you for your courage. I hope I gave you praise if you deserved it, and if I saw one of your rare duds, I hope I critiqued it in a way that was fair, honest, and as kind of possible. If I have ever said anything that was mean, I sincerely apologize.

I hope other critics out there can try to remember that artists are people, and people aren't perfect. Sometimes mistakes are made. Sometimes people aren't outstanding. But people are always people, and people have feelings. Your job as a critic is to honestly critique, not hurl insults. And to the critics out there who also act or direct or design, keep in mind how you reacted the last time you got a negative review. If you remember none of this, at least remember to spell and grammar check. If you’re going to come for people, don’t give them an easy way to come for you.

And finally, to anyone out there who has ever been offended by someone else's opinion, keep in mind that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and most stink. Choose to remember those that have a pleasant aroma, not those that have an awful stench.